After countless betrayals and heartbreak, it's difficult to maintain faith in people. I remember losing faith in people, but then I noticed something REALLY strange. I noticed that as I lost faith in people, I lost faith in myself. Weird right? I didn't really understand it at first, but after some inner work (which is a continuous process) I remembered reading in the Yoga Sutras how our reality is a projection of the mind.
Projection is a really interesting psychological defense mechanism. It's a theory when people displace their own unwanted feelings onto others - denying their own unwanted feelings by attributing them to others. Betrayals and heartbreak is out of our control, the only thing we have control over is our reactions. Impulsive reactions can uncover some of the deepest insecurities and fears. I noticed that mine did. The reaction of me losing faith in people uncovered some of the deepest insecurities and fears that I didn't even know were there! My insecurity of being alienated and excluded from rejection (and how I came to that conclusion, I'll save for another post). Some heavy stuff, but it's worth opening up about because secrets have the most control over you when they remain secrets.
To avoid this insecurity, I unknowingly secluded myself from others. I lost that sense of connection with people because I wanted to avoid the vulnerability of being rejected. It's difficult to cherry-pick the feelings we don't want. If you cut yourself off from the pain... more than likely you'll be cutting yourself off from the joy and happiness that comes with connection.
There's strength in community and connection. And there's strength in vulnerability and openness.
If this strikes a cord, please like or leave comment below! Confessions of a Light Worker.